Svetlana, Pavlo and Danilo
My name is Svetlana, I'm 43. I'm from Zaporizhzhia, Ukraine.
Now I'm in Cracow with my 72 years old mother and my two sons: Danilo, 8... already 9 years old, and Pavlo, 14 years old. I had to take them away from the war. And here I am responsible for them.
My husband Miroslav, the father of my kids, was not allowed to cross the border.
My brother Anton also had to stay.
Parks
Danilo:
They have no such parks in Cracow as we had at home. Now I’m walking with grandma in their parks, but it’s not the same.
“I knew it before I was born”
When Danilo was asked, how he got to know that “war” means something bad and scary, he said:
I can’t remember, it seems like I knew it before I was born.
His mother Svetlana told us later that she was pregnant in 2014, when the last Russian-Ukrainian war started.
What do we miss?
Svetlana:
What do we need to feel at home here?
The boys need their father and uncle to be with us, they are also missing schoolmates and many little things they were used to. So do I.
I need my cherry tree we planted together. I need the table we made for us and all our friends and families to meet and talk sitting around it and sharing food. I need my garden.
But yes, most of all I need my husband and my brother to live and to be close to us. That would be enough.
Tell them about the cherry tree
Svetlana:
We had this big yard shared by several families with a fence around it, because there were many children in our house, so the yard was full of life all the time, full of voices and laughter. We made the playground with sand for kids and had a kind of garden, too.
My sons, Danilo and Pavlo, and their father, my husband Miroslav – altogether we planted the cherry tree next to the house.
This place was so close to our house
Svetlana:
My boys both made photos next to this railway on September 1st, 2017 and 2021. It was so close to our house on the road from the school.
The old station was built in the 18th century for Catherine the Great. Even Germans didn’t touch it because of its beauty.
While leaving we got a message from a friend of mine with this photo. One of the rockets got on that railway. Now that is what it looks like. But I know people are planting flowers in the places destroyed by bombs. Until we come back and fix everything that was broken, there will be flowers. Believe me.
I miss my school
The shelter
Danilo:
The shelter reminded me of a restaurant: people were coming, taking chairs, sitting and waiting.
We asked about what it was like to hide in the basement of some building in Lviv on their way.
The road
Svetlana:
Before I told Miroslav I’m not going if he’s not allowed to go with us. But on the road, where we were hiding from bombs in Lviv and in the open fields, I understood: I had to go to protect our sons.
I gave him the blanket and the pillow, some food.When we were at the border they told us he has to stay. I didn’t stop, I didn’t sleep, until we got to Cracow.
When it was too hard to drive, I took a break for an hour and I saw many cars staying like that on the road: in each was the same tired mother, I felt not alone, I felt our common tiredness and common strength. We were there to save our loved ones, many of us did it for only that reason. This is what keeps us moving and carrying all the weight life gives us. This is the most important reason to live. And we will manage.
Grandma to the border
Svetlana:
My brother called me to say he got a mail from the army. He brought our old mother close to the border and I took her with us.
She didn’t want to go. There was no other way.
Without him, on my own
Svetlana:
I was in Cracow before, but this time was my very first time in many ways. You know, my husband, he took so much care of us. Every trip, he was the one who was planning everything, in details, he was making the map, he knew where to exchange the money, where to buy a card for the phone, where to stay and where to go to the museum or concert. He was my best guide leading us through every place.
We were always together with dad.
I know we will be back
Svetlana:
I’m not sure if the bombs will not destroy my home. But I hope so.
And I know that we will reconnect with my husband and my brother.
We will bake the bread together as before, we will go to the pond with ducks, we will invite our friends and sit at the table, eat, drink, laugh, and enjoy our peaceful life.
Now I am sure
Svetlana:
I don’t need much. I feel safe here. I just want to work as I did in Ukraine. I was giving lectures at universities and academies. Linguistics, Polish and English.
But I don’t want to call any other place home. I know where my home is.
Home
Svetlana:
Home is a place where my heart is complete.
The music was written and played by refugee from Belarus and Ukraine, Zhenya Velko, whose story you can also find here.
Heaven poem
Heaven poem
For you, I’ll shut the sky down
To form a flowery shelter of petals and leaves
So that the only threat are diving bumblebees
To fear nothing but the numbing sound
of caterpillars on a leafy gown
and cherish your calmness
within our shared sleep
The blissful silence is being disturbed
by abrupt whirr of moth’s fragile wings
Like helicopters of the night. Unearthed,
armies of ants march out of their trenches
Fruitful and fertile, the night calmly sings
As drones, exhausted, lay down their defences
As squadrons of butterflies scar the sky
dandelion-bombs blown up by a sigh
with braids untangled
with nightingales quailing
a cherry grove blossoms,
saves the earth from failing
This poem was written by Ph.D. Fryderyk A. Zoll, one of the greatest people in Poland who stands for Ukrainian freedom and helped many Ukrainian refugees during this year.
Tanslated by his son Fryderyk S. Zoll.
The music was written and played by refugee from Belarus and Ukraine, Zhenya Velko, who’s story you also can find here.
Why we are smiling?
Svetlana:
Some people here in Cracow say I don’t look Ukrainian because I’m smiling.
Maybe they need to know what I do: we will win because we are staying for life. And life itself is a good enough reason to smile.
Gifts
Svetlana:
Why am I crying? It happens, too. The last time I cried was yesterday.
When our friend told us we can get some presents from home, immediately I got to the car and went 400 km to get the bag. I will go all 1000 km if that’s what it takes. I saw a person from my homeland, saw someone connected to my past. It’s like fresh air in the basement of reality.
The most precious things came from Ukraine. My son took this ball he got just before the war to play with dad. And he kissed the ball.
I found the eau de toilette that my husband was using. I will save it for the boys.
Fortunately, the Ukrainian honey and a toy bow with arrows were still there. Usually, such things are not allowed to get through the border.
There were also some books: the one dad was reading before going to sleep, the one dad wanted the boys to read.
We don’t know when we will see him next, but we will keep the memories alive.
